Restorative Practices on Zoom
One of my favorite parts about camp is our approach to conflict. The Circle System has taught me so much about my relationship to conflict, and working through conflict at Stomping Ground has made me a better communicator and shaped the way I perceive conflict in my own life. When launching Hometown Stomping Ground, I was mainly focusing on the fun of the activities, and how to help kids make friends online. I did not consider that just like at camp, when real connection is being made, real conflict will also come up.
Conflict Online
The first time I felt real conflict creeping up during one of our virtual options I started getting really nervous. I started to think, “I can’t pull this kid aside and check in with them one on one as I would at camp.” How can I address these two campers disagreeing in front of the rest of the group? I decided to try responding to these two campers just as I would if we were in person at camp.
Hometown hosts embers for all once a week on Thursdays at 5:30pm. Join us!
The two campers were arguing in the chat. I interrupted the staff member leading Embers to say, “Hey. I notice Sam and Kiara are disagreeing in the chat. I am worried I can’t read the tone, don’t know how people are feeling, and want to check in with everybody.” The facilitator paused the activity, and I asked both campers to stop typing in the chat, and instead speak to each other “face to face” about what was going on. They both shared their perspective, and we concluded with the agreement to not use the chat to argue. When we disagree on Zoom, we will unmute and speak to each other with audio since it is hard to read body language and emotions through the chat. Boom. We had our first online conflict circle.
After that conversation, I turned it back over to the facilitator to finish leading her Embers, and the rest of the kids were on board to move forward with the activity. Just. Like. It. Happens. At. Camp. It felt so good! Approaching conflict online wasn’t all that scary when I used the same tools I use at camp to talk to kids about conflict.
Hometown Stomping Ground isn’t perfect. We are still getting better each day at facilitating activities, approaching conflict, and fostering connection online as we continue to learn and respond to feedback from kids and parents. However, I have learned that with real online connections being made, real online conflict comes up as well. I am grateful to the two campers who were willing to talk through their conflict online that day, as it has empowered me to feel more comfortable stepping into other conversations that may be tense or challenging.
What’s Next?
Conflict is real and inevitable and not brushing it aside is a huge part of camp. Although it can feel weird to have some of these conversations in “public,” restorative practices are a cornerstone to camp and baked into everything we hope to do. And online, just like at camp, we see conflict as a tool that facilitates perspective taking and builds radical empathy.
After the current pandemic it is likely kids will be asked to navigate more spaces online. Let’s partner with them and practice working through conflict collaboratively online, to give them the tools to do so in their own online spaces. I believe this is the way to arm kids with a balanced alert and inclusive approach to the online world.
